So I shared a video on my TikTok page, and it was a question posed by a lady Tik toker who publicly asked on her page. “ Why aren’t more men asking for a prenuptial agreements?” This was a pretty deep question which sparked a pretty interesting conversation on my page. I have the link below where a tik toker who goes by username , J.R.Minton, https://www.tiktok.com/t/ZPRKkK2wp/
gave his point of view of the posed question and let’s just say, there were mixed responses. I added the question on my video before sharing his, “Why are so many successful women single?”
After viewers watched his response, for the most part, it seems the majority agreed with him, and mini understood why they were parts of his explanation that I visibly agree with him, but Ofcourse you had your typical response from folks who in my opinion, missed the point. His response was pretty lengthy and while I’m not saying he was 100 % accurate, he did make quite a few good points. See his response below:
“Because most men will not become successful unless they are married. (Notice he said , most, not all?) he goes on to say, “outside of the entertainment industry, men are more likely to be successful if they are married, and women are more likely to be successful if they are single. 👀
He said, that you don’t have to believe him, you can just Google it!” Why Ofcourse I did.
Okay, so there you have it. Moving right along. He says, “there are a lot of people on the tik tok app especially men, who like to say that marriage doesn't benefit men. but generally marriage often benefits only men!” He further explained and said, “whenever a child is born, a woman is typically the person that takes off time to take care of the child which makes them a stay at home mom, and while some men like say that that is a privilege for the woman, what it really is, is a financial risk that the woman is taking.” Whoa, he’s really diving deep into this. The Tik Toker then says, “The woman is taking time off fron work, and she is dependent upon another person to be successful, so that she can continue to take care of the children.”Keeping it moving he said, “ And this is a social norm, that a woman is the person who will take a financial risk and a career risk in order to take care of the family. “Men on the other hand, get the social benefit of saying that they are married and have the support of a spouse and the support of someone who will take care of his children, while he is able to just thrive and work and further his own career. The Tik toker said, “it is true that 50% of marriages end in divorce, and it is true that 75% of divorce’s are initiated by women. He closed with, “ So how come men don't want prenup for their marriage? It’s because most men don't have very much before they get married. They become successful after the marriage.” My exact face on the image below when he said this! Ha Ha Ha!
Ofcoarse all the philosophers began to show up with their narrow minded views. One tik toker asked, “Did they pick her yet?” This was her way of insinuating that I shared the post hoping to be noticed and have some guy fall madly in love with me and choose to develop a relationship or even to marry me.
A “pick me” in slang terms means, “a woman who wants a man to pick her over other women. The term also alludes to the idea that the woman will do anything for attention or acceptance, similar to a small child who desperately wants to be chosen or noticed.”
Another guy said My post gave, “ Pick me vibez” 😂🤣 and how exactly did I give this type of vibe sir?????
I was a bit shocked that me simply sharing the post and agreeing with a few points this guy made, would have her consider me a pick me. I mean how? No seriously, how?
But I did have quite a tribe of people who had my back and who agreed wholeheartedly with this Tok Tokers response. One lady said, “Protect this man at all cost!” He He He and a lot of people came to his defense sharing their perspective. Thank you Queens and to all the people who know how to have mature conversations whether we agree with somebody or not. And that’s a big part of having a healthy relationship too, being able to disagree with your spouse without there being hate, or and attitude for days, or threats of divorce after a simple disagreement.
Tik Toker, J.R.Minton, made quite a few great points especially if you consider the way marriages have been for years. I personally never thought of a prenup being something everyday people considered, prenups have always been for the wealthy people getting married who wanted to protect their assets and money should the marriage fail, but hey, who knows those days?
In my opinion, Relationships are better when there is balance. Example: Sometimes the wife cooks, sometimes the husband cooks. Sometimes she does laundry, sometimes he does it. One person shouldn’t be burdened to do it alone!
I remember trying to date a guy and we’d known each other for quite a few years and he’d always liked me, but I just never really felt him that way, but I tried to give it a shot because he asked me to. He would come over to my spot because it was closer to his job and he would stay there sometimes. He was a decent guy, he brought home bulk stuff like detergent, soap, groceries, tissue, paper towels, etc… he was a good hearted man, I just wasn’t physically attracted to him, but in really tried.
I began to notice when he would come home, he would be expecting laundry to be done every single day. I’d see him walking around, picking up clothes, shaking his head and starting a laundry load. Keep in mind. My place was neat. I kept my place nice and clean so why was he bothered by a few clothes in the hamper?
He also thought that I was supposed to have dinner waiting every single day even after I didn’t get home until after 8 pm, and on weekends he would stare at me looking to see what I had planned, and if I didn’t have anything planned, he assumed I must be some lonely, miserable, depressed woman with nothing “new” to show him, it was a nightmare! It was like he was always looking to discover new things through me, and it was annoying, because I had already done a lot in my life. I just wanted to relax and be at peace.
In so many words, it’s almost like he was trying to mold me to be the type of woman he thought a woman should be and that didn’t work with me because I would never let anyone stop my freedom and stop my transparency or my authenticity. I love peace and I like to do things when I want to do them and laundry is something I do on the weekend unless I just don’t have any clothes left that are clean.
I’m not coming home every day from work washing no damn clothes! After dating a few times and as I grew older and wiser, I started to feel and still feel that for me, single is best for now. I’m not anyone’s transformer!
I mean, don’t get me wrong, I commend married couples who have successful / healthy relationships. I personally just seem to be better off single for now. That could change, but for now, it’s single and content for me. No shade to the couples though, do your thing! Enjoy life together.
So let’s dive back in to why this TikToker believed me and Benefits from Marriage more than women and that most men won’t become successful, unless they are married, and how about women being more successful when they’re single ? Now that’s a bold statement because I have seen men become successful, who are not married, and I’ve also seen women who become successful, who are married.
There is a saying that’s been floating around for years, that says, “ Behind every successful man there's a woman!” I have always loved that statement because when you look at it, you do need a strong support system around you in order for you to be successful. Whether you’re a woman or a man, you need that support, that insight that your spouse can bring to the forefront, that smart and intellect that they bring to the relationship, and yes, many times, a woman who is willing and able to stay home and raise the kids while the man goes and pursues, his dreams and passions, and thrives to be more successful and more financially stable so that you both can live in maintaining the lifestyle that you want. It might be kind of hard for him to do all of that by himself. I’m just saying. I’m definitely not trying to start any type of war here but you gotta call a thing a thing when you see it and this is a thing!
I think it’s safe to say I’ve reached a point where I’m established, I’m happy, I can pretty much get what I want, I’m confident in my own skin, and I simply don’t feel like taking rules from anybody at this adult age! I think there’s room for maturity from a lot of men who seem to be stuck with the mindset that we are still supposed to be housewife material, and do nothing else, but take care of and maintain the house. Oh we have evolved, but for those women who are indeed house wives, let’s keep it real, the guys need Yal and yes the benefit for being married to you.
Any guy out there saying that marriage doesn’t benefit them is telling a lie! Highlighting one of the comments from that TikTok post one guy said that men don’t benefit from Marriage me and only get married so that they can have kids and a wife to raise the children. Of course, my immediate response was well isn’t that still a benefit from the marriage? That exchange became interesting. I posted that below for you.
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